La consteladora Zoraida Hernández, egresada de ECOSIC, nos cuenta su experiencia bajo la protección de las Hermanas Religiosas Agustinas, quienes ocuparon el lugar de sus padres ausentes
Un vínculo interrumpido es un trauma de abandono que siente un niño cuando se encuentra solo en una situación cualquiera, no cuenta con la presencia de sus padres, ni tiene una explicación lógica en su pensamiento infantil para esa ausencia.
Este trauma primario no permite que la persona en su adultez se vuelque hacia sus padres amorosamente, por lo que se queda congelada la imagen mental de un rechazo por parte de los padres y de un miedo por parte de la propia persona a revivir esa experiencia dolorosa. Esto hace que ese adulto sienta temor a generar vínculos y compromisos afectivos profundos.
Les escribe Zoraida Antonia Hernández, hija de José Isgard Berhais y María Felipa Hernández. En mi caso, fui criada desde bebé por un sistema de apoyo: las Hermanas Religiosas Agustinas. Un conglomerado de mujeres que decidieron servir a Dios y vivir hermanadas en edificaciones llamadas internados, asilos, orfanatos, colegios, asilos de ancianos, noviciados o casa matriz. Allí viven congregadas por una causa común: estar al servicio del más necesitado.
Desde la mirada sistémica cuando una persona no es criada por sus padres, quienes debieron ser sustituidos por familiares consanguíneos, padrinos, padres adoptivos u hogares de crianza, como fue mi caso, se dice que está ocupando el lugar de alguien que debía vivir y no pudo quedarse en la vida. De esa forma queda comprometido el destino del niño en su futuro como adulto.
Uno de los movimientos vitales en las constelaciones familiares es poder devolver el lugar que ese niño o ese adulto estuvo ocupando durante mucho tiempo, sin saberlo.
A lo largo de mi vida me ha tocado devolver muchos lugares que en su momento no supe que estaba ocupando pues fui educada por varias monjas, quienes se encargaron de mi crianza en ausencia de mis padres.
Dadas esas circunstancias, me he preguntado muchas veces: ¿Qué lugares estuve ocupando yo? Ya que las monjas, en teoría, no tienen parejas, ni hijos.
A la luz de las constelaciones familiares llegué a la siguiente reflexión: pudiera considerarse que cada una de estas religiosas venía acompañada de hermanos gemelares evanescentes o de hermanos previos que no pudieron vivir y, en la búsqueda de ese gran amor/dolor, ellas ven en la vida religiosa un consuelo y una oportunidad de convivir con otras personas que se hacen llamar hermanas, y así, a través del servicio, cuidan de tantas otras personas, que por circunstancias de vida se quedan sin experimentar muchas vivencias en su tríada de origen.
Comparto este testimonio que puede ser útil para otros que, como yo, tenemos una larga lista de personas a quienes debemos honrar primero y devolverles su lugar, para quedar libres de implicaciones y disponibles para tomar nuestro verdadero lugar como hijos o hijas de nuestros padres. Una vez en orden, estaremos listos para disfrutar de los regalos maravillosos que estos seres, en su infinito amor, nos dan como legado: genético, epigenético, crianza, momentos compartidos o instantes de vida.
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O autor salienta que tal disfunção não precisa ser confundida com a ausência ou redução no «apetite sexual», nem ao menos com complexidade em ejacular
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